Food is not funny. At all. And neither is this post.

27Nov08

face

It’s probably the least funniest thing. When an object is phallic or is likened to something completely absurd/inappropriate/provoking in a disturbing way, it usually invokes several giggles around the table. No dish will make you laugh, maybe cry, smile, or vomit, but not laugh.  I mean really, I think the Jack-o-latern wins at being the funniest food. And we all know how not funny they are. Although, these guys seem to disagree. And their counterattack?

What has ears but can’t hear a thing?

A cornfield.

CRICKETS, I tell ya. CRICKETS.

With the exception of farting as a symptom of eating certain foods, most food humor isn’t funny. It’s a complete turn off. And even jokes about your bloated stomach are so 10 years ago ( In 1998, Martha Stewart let it rip on national television while gardening for turnips*). No one wants to hear that you licking a popsicle looks like oral sex or the act of eating a corn dog resembles something you’ll be doing later that night.

The only funny kind of food is the kind that comes from England**.

 

 

 

*This is probably not true.

**This is no longer true.

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5 Responses to “Food is not funny. At all. And neither is this post.”

  1. 1 peter

    i think your blog is coming into its own.. please continue being angry at people you deem idiots.. btw, i think your momofuku post was your best yet

  2. 2 smelly

    I personally think food fights are funny. so there.

  3. c’mon! you know you like carving penii out of bananas during wedding showers. that’s FUNNY yo!

  4. honestly loved finding your story

  5. 5 foodyi

    THanks!


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