My Pantry Away from Home


pantry away from home 

And so it has begun….

If you’re defined by the things you collect and choose to surround yourself with, then I am must have been a squirrel stuck in a snowstorm in my past life. My stash of food and other odds and ends within my cubicle is easily comparable to the pantry in your kitchen. This problem also extends into the larger black hole in my life which is my purse. I just found a couple of salt packets and a plastic knife in there the other day. Which, I have to say, I was very relieved to have within a moments notice during my 2 am subway ride home…god forbid my drunken munchies be unpalatable and not bite size.

It started with the mandatory afternoon snacks to help me avoid punching my computer screen at the 3 o clock mark. A bag of pretzels, some peanut butter, bag of ridiculously expensive granola/nut mix, etc etc.  And then a medley of plastic utensils and old paper cups start ed to claim property on my desk because I feel wasteful every time I throw them in the garbage. It’s my form of carbon offsetting. Hoarding them on top of my desk to minimize my smaller moments of guilt and then forcing my collective sin unto the late night janitorial crew. But this stash will not stop. You can ask my former co-workers who are witnesses to my paradise of munchies and condiments. But in the end, it benefits the entire office and saves us from the bland, the stomach grumbling, and the 3 o clock crazies.

Cubicle Food Stash Hot List

1. Tapatio Hot Sauce-Cholula hot sauce is acceptable. Tabasco is NOT.

2. Your own mug-nothing is more wasteful or completely ridiculous than using a new paper cup every single morning. Bring your own stupid.

3. For the cubicle lunchers with racist taste buds, siracha hot sauce. Asians go with Asians, Mexicans with Mexicans. Mix those two up and you’re asking for a food fight.

4. (Crunchy) Peanut Butter. When the only thing you hear is the cubicle neighbor coughing every 2.5 seconds (and counting), shove a spoon in the jar and it’s the most delicious and creamy silencer to every office annoyance around you.  It’s also pretty key for my morning ritual of banana peanut butter toasts and vanilla latte.


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